Rebuilding your life One Step at a Time:

35411nq359kkpjiAsk yourself just one question: “Are you willing to live in the survival mode again this year?” If not, now is the time to examine your life, decide what you want it to be, and set your intentions to make it so. You MUST truly desire to NOT be at the whim of society, but to co-create within it the life that you want. It is the start of a new year, a perfect time to change your attitude and be victorious.

 1.      Speak and verbalize your thoughts and feelings. Keeping things bottled up inside only causes distress, ulcers, pains and illness. Get rid of all those hidden, repressed feelings by expressing them. Make a point of spending time with your spouse, or close friend by talking to them about these things. Speech is a powerful and excellent self therapy. Second best is journaling.

 2.      Make decisions. People who cannot make decisions live in doubt and anguish. This leads to worry and aggression which can lead to skin problems and more. Remember, even if you decide not to make a decision – even that’s a decision. So go out and make positive decisions. All those decisions you have been putting aside – act on them now!

 3.      Find Solutions. If you don’t find solutions to problems, they will only grow and become even bigger problems. This can impact your health radically. Even if the solution isn’t always what you want. Find a solution and live a more relaxed life. Remember that right now the only possible solution may not be what you had planned. However, I believe that nothing in life happens by chance. Somewhere in the future you will see the reason why it had to be that way now.

 4.      Stop trying to keep up with the Jones’. To attempt to live a life of false appearances will only lead to distress and worry, again affecting your health. What is it with the world that everyone is always trying to compete and be better than the next person? Outside materialistic possessions will NEVER make you the same, or better than the next person. Understand this and follow this belief in the future. Learn to be comfortable with who you are. It will show from within and you will begin radiating a positive image. Think about it for a moment. Have you met people that just seem to be comfortable with life and themselves and who smile a lot? I bet most of them are not super wealthy, and nor do they constantly try to fit in with society and their neighbours. Odds are they comfortable with who they are and have learnt to accept themselves and the world. Plus they have learnt to be thankful for the really important things in life … family, friends and health.

64091q4la8g5xoz 5.      Practice Acceptance. You have to learn to be at one with yourself and the world around you. Everything cannot always go your way. Understand and accept this. If you cannot learn to do this, envy, jealousy and destructive energy takes over and makes you sick. If you can live a life of unconditional acceptance and love for all around you, without being judgmental – you WILL find peace within your heart.

 6.      Learn to trust. Without trust you cannot foster great friendships, business partnerships or relationships. Remember, it is better to have loved, than never to have loved at all. Lonely people are not healthy people. One of my favourite sayings is: If you lend someone money and they disappear out of your life – it’s most probably worth it. AT least you know where you stand and don’t waste years trying to build a friendship with a dishonest person. All I can do is give you my trust. If you return it and earn it – we can be friends. If you don’t, then it’s for the best – at least I won’t waste my time on that person and can focus my time on someone who respects my trust and friendship.

 7.      Learn to laugh more. Those of you that know me personally know that my philosophy in life is to laugh as much as I can. A happy person not only makes those around him happy, but laughter is also the best medicine for a healthy life. So come on – be adventurous – go out and have more fun in life. Subscribe to a ‘Free Joke’ list. Do a search on google or any search engine. There are hundreds. Every morning you get a free joke in your mail box – what a way to start your day. Also, hang out with people that smile and laugh regularly. They give us a positive energy. 

 You will need to completely re-evaluate your life. One way is to take out a big piece of paper and write “My Life” in the center. Think of your life, your wants, desires and needs and start writing the points down around the centre “My Life”. See how the thoughts connect up and what bridges together. Just let it flow, don’t over think it. You will be surprised at how easily things start to come to you. You are basically creating a mind map. Also, you don’t need to do this in one sitting. Spend a day at it, and add thoughts as they come to you.

341900d5k1k1u06 This is a very broad mind map of your life. You can of course take the different categories that you come up with, and turn each of those into its own map. Once you see your direction, you can figure out your intentions. This simple exercise will give you direction for 2012 and help you on the path to a successful year.

 Of course there are many people that now feel another year has passed and time is running out. NEVER be afraid of getting older, it’s age that brings us wisdom. Older people who are unhappy with their age, are those with regrets. These are people who never followed their dreams. If you are still young, learn from the above words. Make yourself a promise that you will never regret lost opportunities in life. Only then will getting older be fun. I keep on saying to people that YOU must live every day as if it is your last. By this I mean that you must make the most of every moment. Be in a position that when you go to bed at night, you can be happy at the great day you had. This can only be achieved by making the most of every moment. Not putting things aside for tomorrow, but living today to the fullest. Only then will you have no regrets when you get older.

 Barbara Shepherd  is a holistic life coach and author in Fish Hoek   “ONE STEP at a TIME LIFE COACHING”  website:

She also helps people move and declutter:

Phone  021 7822098   or   072 437 2810 or email: